will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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