Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
