hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
