In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sext me about skeletons
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
