Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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