and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
