Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
where am i from again
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
