New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
His nipple licking is glorious
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