he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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