A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just want to make out with him forever
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
