I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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