1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
ok first of all what the fuck
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
