I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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