It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
