Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
