So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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