Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
