Got a toothbrush?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
