I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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