Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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