It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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