That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
