i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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