i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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