i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
