I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
They have beer where we have blood.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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