Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
