OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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