So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
im on a boat
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