I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
