i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
