I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
