would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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