I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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