A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just saw a hot homeless man
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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