All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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