I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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