I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
