turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
