She said her name was "party"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
