omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
