my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
