dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
