Are we in a gay sports bar?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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