I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Two words: blizzard sex
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
