Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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