Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
