At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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