how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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