I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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